What did you do today?

[Capt C]

Went to see the shrink today. Apparently it’s hard/dangerous to treat adhd and ptsd at the same time. I flipped a coin. Hello new stimulants lol. I’ve never been one for pharma meds but here we go. Might be more organized and focused. We shall see. I think it will work out cause the general consensus I’ve heard from folks with ptsd is hammerin back the weed helps (already got that base covered)
Gave a hobo a big greasy roach on my way in. A sweet little girl told me all about her bike and how she’s too badass for a helmet while i waited for scrip. Overall not a bad day.

Hey @Uncle Romulus i know i went to a shrink 25 years ago and was diagnosed with depression. My doc did not discus any issues with the medication he prescribed Paxil. Well 25 years later i am still taking that shit. Tried a couple of times to stop but was unsuccessful. Not rely like withdrawals or anything just seems like your brain is misfiring. I think the medication might have worked some years ago but would like to stop taking it now. Just be careful doctors rely suck sometimes.

 

[Deleted member 60]

I never knew what depression was until I lost my son. Thought I did...and thought I was "depressed" most of my teen/adult years.....but wow...was I ever wrong. Not-even-close.

 

[SSGrower]

Went to see the shrink today. Apparently it’s hard/dangerous to treat adhd and ptsd at the same time. I flipped a coin. Hello new stimulants lol. I’ve never been one for pharma meds but here we go. Might be more organized and focused. We shall see. I think it will work out cause the general consensus I’ve heard from folks with ptsd is hammerin back the weed helps (already got that base covered)
Gave a hobo a big greasy roach on my way in. A sweet little girl told me all about her bike and how she’s too badass for a helmet while i waited for scrip. Overall not a bad day.

We cant diagnose only listen, serious shit happens so we can experience the whimsy. Humans must have perspective to enjoy a healthy relativity. This is part of the greater design of humanity and must incorporate the analytical and emotional, technology and art, opposing forces to provide balance.

☮

 

[Mr Blamo]

How is that bubblegum, i have a couple of those that i got as freebies from seed city and have been putting off growing them

The bubblegum is just average weed. Prolly around 18 percent thc. Nothing special really. Plus it doesn't smell or taste bubblegum.
Th seeds bubblegum is better.

 

[Mr Blamo]

I never knew what depression was until I lost my son. Thought I did...and thought I was "depressed" most of my teen/adult years.....but wow...was I ever wrong. Not-even-close.

Losing loved ones is very depressing. I know this very well.
Sadness that ends up depressing.
Life has beat me up pretty good but im still here.
I can say weed has helped me out more times in my life than I can count. I thank god for mj.

Sticky...sorry to learn you lost your son....so sorry to read that.

 

[Erick31876]

The bubblegum is just average weed. Prolly around 18 percent thc. Nothing special really. Plus it doesn't smell or taste bubblegum.
Th seeds bubblegum is better.

Thanks for the heads up, I won't waste my time with it I'll give it away

 

[Deleted member 60]

The depth of the sadness we hold within reflects the depth of the love we have for them.

Thanks Blamo. I share your sentiment about weed. Thank Bob indeed.

 

[yougrowyourway]

Today I realized I am a danger to myself and others. I love myself so much but the voices never stop. I just want them to stop. I admire a lot of you for being able to handle the shit life throws at us. I feel weak for feeling this way but never has anything just seemed so right. Over 10 years of this and I'm just done. Not looking for a response or hope just needed to vent. Thanks for allowing me to do so.

 

[macsnax]

Today I realized I am a danger to myself and others. I love myself so much but the voices never stop. I just want them to stop. I admire a lot of you for being able to handle the shit life throws at us. I feel weak for feeling this way but never has anything just seemed so right. Over 10 years of this and I'm just done. Not looking for a response or hope just needed to vent. Thanks for allowing me to do so.

Sometimes life throws to much at us. Gotta learn to re-train your brain, the way you think to deal with the issues. I had to do it myself, my go to used to be just getting pissed over everthing. Takes time, but as long as you're trying, you're making progress. Chirp up bird.

 

[yougrowyourway]

Sometimes life throws to much at us. Gotta learn to re-train your brain, the way you think to deal with the issues. I had to do it myself, my go to used to be just getting pissed over everthing. Takes time, but as long as you're trying, you're making progress. Chirp up bird.

I did try but having a TBI my brains wiring got all screwed up. The multiple daily mood swings that for the most part are not triggered. I'm very in-tune with myself so I usually recognize triggers but most of the time there are none. I've been trying for 10 years to no avail. It just makes me wonder am I ever going to get a grasp on this or am I just wasting away, getting worse as I get older. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it even if I didn't want to hear it. I feel weak for talking like this but sadly this is all I have in terms of venting. I just miss the old me. It's crazy when you know you're not that person anymore and the person you've become you're not a fan of. Now I feel like a weirdo for posting...deleting this and the other comment.

 

[Heisen]

I did try but having a TBI my brains wiring got all screwed up. The multiple daily mood swings that for the most part are not triggered. I'm very in-tune with myself so I usually recognize triggers but most of the time there are none. I've been trying for 10 years to no avail. It just makes me wonder am I ever going to get a grasp on this or am I just wasting away, getting worse as I get older. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it even if I didn't want to hear it. I feel weak for talking like this but sadly this is all I have in terms of venting. I just miss the old me. It's crazy when you know you're not that person anymore and the person you've become you're not a fan of. Now I feel like a weirdo for posting...deleting this and the other comment.

2 years ago I almost walked out in traffic. It sucks man and I still have issues from week to week. It's a struggle and your not the only one. I'm better now than I was 2 years ago. Seems like it got alot worse than it ever got better. Than when I was at the lowest point and I knew it wasnt getting any lower I started to feel better each day. Finding different hobbies helps.

 

[Erick31876]

I did try but having a TBI my brains wiring got all screwed up. The multiple daily mood swings that for the most part are not triggered. I'm very in-tune with myself so I usually recognize triggers but most of the time there are none. I've been trying for 10 years to no avail. It just makes me wonder am I ever going to get a grasp on this or am I just wasting away, getting worse as I get older. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it even if I didn't want to hear it. I feel weak for talking like this but sadly this is all I have in terms of venting. I just miss the old me. It's crazy when you know you're not that person anymore and the person you've become you're not a fan of. Now I feel like a weirdo for posting...deleting this and the other comment.

Sorry to hear your going through it bro. I struggle every day.i try to stay as busy as possible and sometimes even that dont help. It sometimes feels like the shit just keeps piling on. I try to stay focused as much as i can for when my girlfriend has the baby. We both have the same thing so we lnow what its like. If you need to talk or even just need to vent, you have my number bro, just call, i dont care what time it is

 

[Heisen]

I did try but having a TBI my brains wiring got all screwed up. The multiple daily mood swings that for the most part are not triggered. I'm very in-tune with myself so I usually recognize triggers but most of the time there are none. I've been trying for 10 years to no avail. It just makes me wonder am I ever going to get a grasp on this or am I just wasting away, getting worse as I get older. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it even if I didn't want to hear it. I feel weak for talking like this but sadly this is all I have in terms of venting. I just miss the old me. It's crazy when you know you're not that person anymore and the person you've become you're not a fan of. Now I feel like a weirdo for posting...deleting this and the other comment.

Taking those mac1 cuts tomorrow homie. You'll have something to look forward to. Cap c got the same exact cut from me so you can see his in POTM contest.
Keep ya head up man. Shit does change. My kids have been a big inspiration to me as well as my wife. Life is always changing

 

[macsnax]

I did try but having a TBI my brains wiring got all screwed up. The multiple daily mood swings that for the most part are not triggered. I'm very in-tune with myself so I usually recognize triggers but most of the time there are none. I've been trying for 10 years to no avail. It just makes me wonder am I ever going to get a grasp on this or am I just wasting away, getting worse as I get older. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it even if I didn't want to hear it. I feel weak for talking like this but sadly this is all I have in terms of venting. I just miss the old me. It's crazy when you know you're not that person anymore and the person you've become you're not a fan of. Now I feel like a weirdo for posting...deleting this and the other comment.

Oh man, I'm sorry. I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth. I had no idea you had a condition, and I apologize for thinking you were just having a rough day. Keep your chin up, if you need someone to talk to I'm just a dm away.

 

[Uncle Romulus]

I never knew what depression was until I lost my son. Thought I did...and thought I was "depressed" most of my teen/adult years.....but wow...was I ever wrong. Not-even-close.

Brother I didn’t want to bring it up but I’d imagine he’s often on your mind like it or not. I saw a pic of him glass blowing that you posted. Handsome talented dude. I bet he rocked what short time he had. He’s in your heart and all that’s left are memories. I never thought I’d make 30 but here we are. I definitely don’t “deserve” to even be alive honestly after all the close calls and hard drugs. I look at my own son and know that I’ll not be able to protect him from this world. I just have to hand him over to the universe. I can’t imagine losing him. You are a very strong man to press on. I respect you very much and I am very sorry for your loss. I teared up for you when I read your post on his b day. Aunt Rom was wondering what the hell I was looking at on my phone, sittin there trying not to cry like a damn baby

 

[Uncle Romulus]

I did try but having a TBI my brains wiring got all screwed up. The multiple daily mood swings that for the most part are not triggered. I'm very in-tune with myself so I usually recognize triggers but most of the time there are none. I've been trying for 10 years to no avail. It just makes me wonder am I ever going to get a grasp on this or am I just wasting away, getting worse as I get older. Thanks for the kind words. I appreciate it even if I didn't want to hear it. I feel weak for talking like this but sadly this is all I have in terms of venting. I just miss the old me. It's crazy when you know you're not that person anymore and the person you've become you're not a fan of. Now I feel like a weirdo for posting...deleting this and the other comment.

Head injuries are no joke bro. Don’t feel like your a weirdo. Well.. I guess you’re among other weirdos here so your safe buddy lol. I got in a car accident and stuff changed a bit for me. I never was the impatient type till after the accident. Now I have a hard time not flying off the handle about every little thing. People don’t understand you don’t chose these struggles and also can’t pray them away or just “think more positively”. It’s not that simple right. Keep your head up bro. Your a funny guy and a good grower

 

[Uncle Romulus]

Didn’t want to triple post but I m on a role.

2 years ago I almost walked out in traffic. It sucks man and I still have issues from week to week. It's a struggle and your not the only one. I'm better now than I was 2 years ago. Seems like it got alot worse than it ever got better. Than when I was at the lowest point and I knew it wasnt getting any lower I started to feel better each day. Finding different hobbies helps.

I’ll speak for all of us loons on this forum and say we are glad you didn’t walk out into traffic bro. I bet anyone growing out your hot hot fire beans are glad also. Your a solid dude and have helped many get there shit together and grow better. I wonder if Heisen back then ever imagined he’d be a legend in these Internet streets..

 

[Heisen]

Didn’t want to triple post but I m on a role.

I’ll speak for all of us loons on this forum and say we are glad you didn’t walk out into traffic bro. I bet anyone growing out your hot hot fire beans are glad also. Your a solid dude and have helped many get there shit together and grow better. I wonder if Heisen back then ever imagined he’d be a legend in these Internet streets..

Dont really consider myself that. I just love growing weed and helping people that wanna be helped and appreciate hard work. I have no tolerance for laziness or entitlement. I barely involve myself here and let the mods just do there thing anymore. They seem to be doing a good job.

 

[Deleted member 60]

Brother I didn’t want to bring it up but I’d imagine he’s often on your mind like it or not

You imagined correctly. He is in/on my mind in all of my waking hours. Every aspect of my life now is a result of his passing. It's a weight I carry daily.

But I'm not alone. Others here have reached out to me who have also lost children. We're in "the Club".

FWIW....two of the many gifts I received from him out of all of this are compassion towards others... and an ability to cut through the BS. Whereas I once let the little shit stack up to be bigger shit...I now have the ability to just walk the fuck away. If it's "life changing" it is worth addressing. If it is merely a hassle....blow that shit right off... or toss some $$$ at it...cus money will fix the shit that >>>doesn't matter<<.

Your words and tears hit me hard my friend. Much appreciated. Very.







.

 

[Erick31876]

Dont really consider myself that. I just love growing weed and helping people that wanna be helped and appreciate hard work. I have no tolerance for laziness or entitlement. I barely involve myself here and let the mods just do there thing anymore. They seem to be doing a good job.

I have noticed a change in you since ypu stepped back, you seem more chill, and more laid back.